It used to be that when a person made a vow, it meant something. A vow was not made lightheartedly. It was made from the heart with every intention to keep it. It is not that anymore. Vows are still being made every day at the altar of marriage, but very few really mean what they say. Staying married is looked upon more of as a convenience instead of a commitment. Marriages are being dissolved today at an alarming rate because vows are not kept. So many of us are making excuses why we no longer can stay in a commited relationship with our spouse, and society is more than happy to oblige.

As a pastor who has officiated at many weddings over the years, it troubles me to know that many of them aren't going to survive. Vows are made in order to make the relationship legally binding, but it is not being done with careful thought as to what is being done. When a couple stands in front of a church to be married they are not only standing before a preacher and an audience of family and friends, they are standing before the Lord of the church. Words spoken are heard by God and taken very seriously by him. God reminds us that we will give an account for not only our actions and thoughts, but for the words we speak as well. It is far better to not make a vow before God than to make one and then have no real commitment to keeping it.

One way to make your marriage better is to carefully think through your vows periodically to remind you of what you have commited yourself to. It is even better if you and your spouse were to do it together. If you were to look at your spouse and say your vows from your heart, it would go a long ways towards resolving much of the divorce rate that is plagueing not only our society, but the church as well. What better way is there to express your love than to make a fresh commitment of fidelity to your spouse through all the ups and downs of your relationship? Even if you don't feel like it, just doing it helps.

We are constantly being given the message that vows are meant to be broken, that it doesn't really matter what we said in the past. What matters is how we feel today. We deserve to be happy and if our spouse doesn't make us happy then it's okay to find someone who will. We become attracted to someone who can meet our physical, emotional, or mental needs. We become convinced that someone else is better suited for us and we go for it. This mindset comes straight from hell. Vows are not made to be broken. It does matter what we vow to do because it is a matter of the intend of the heart, and that is what God judges. When we break our vows, we are sinning before God.

Want a better life with your spouse? Remember and rehash your vows. I speak of the need for commitment in my book, C Through Marriage. I would encourage you to get a hold of the book and consider the truths you find there. The grass is always the greenest at home if you invest your time and energy in making it work. Instead of looking elsewhere for your needs to be met, look your spouse in the eye and from your heart say your vows. You will be glad you did.