From as far back as I can remember I always felt like an outsider. I guess in a lot of ways I knew I wasn't like 'everyone else'. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 19 years old. I was living with my first husband 1500 miles away from home on an air base.

I really did'nt know what the heck to think! I was raised in a very religious home and my dad being an asst. pastor, always told us that mental illness wasn't real it was just a really selfish state of mind where people felt sorry for themselves. I have several family members inflicted severely with this disease to the point that they are on disability. I spent my 20's in a constant manic state of being and was only 'normal' when I was pregnant as I had 4 kids by 24 years old.

I was hospitalized for my suicidal episodes as well as extreme insomnia and angry outbursts. In the midst of all of this I felt like God was mad at me and that I wasn't good enough for him. Very sick thoughts as I can now clearly see. In my late 20's feeling very desperate and lonely I began to research bi polar disorder to the very roots of its history. Finally at 29 my search some how brought me to my Bible (divine intervention).

I was deep in my Bible, mostly the new testament. I became fascinated with Jesus and the stories of him walking the earth and healing all sorts of sickness....I came upon MATTHEW 17 and identified with it as if I had been there and seen it with my own eyes. I BELIEVED in the Lord and the power Jesus had in the healing of this "Demoniac." I didn't feel it instantly but over the next 2 months I slowly ran out of my meds and though I suffered with the yucky symptoms of stopping the meds, I heard something inside of me saying "its okay" and felt peace about it like never before.

I have been med free and free of bipolar disorder for 3 years BY THE GRACE OF GOD. I truly believe that the Lord and only the Lord can heal these afflictions. HE HEALED ME! You must believe beyond the shadow of a doubt and know that Jesus loves you.  He is there waiting to heal you, you just have to open the door for him. Even though I have been well for 3 years I wasn't regularly attending church. Recently I heard God calling me out. He was telling me to go to church and get involved.....I know he has a great purpose for me and my testimony there.

I am getting baptized for the first time on July 12th and am looking forward to it with great anticipation. I have been getting involved as much as I can at my church and feel a great deal of true peace and happiness in this. Christ is my SALVATION. I am looking forward to serving the Lord with all that I am and all that I have. I love what you guys are doing here it is a blessing and a great form of the good news.

I hope my testimony can help even one person come to really know God and see that he is a loving and compassionate God.

You sister in Christ,
Rebekah